How much is enough?
I was hoping this book would answer “how much is enough“ question. It answered it, but not directly, which is quite interesting in itself.
The followings are drawn directly from several parts of the book that I find useful, practical and such a good food for thought.
First the authours invited us to define and understand our values and goals. It suggested to start with the end by imagining our closest friends giving a speech at our funerals about what we have achieved in our lives. Write it down, compile a simple list, or use phrases (in the speech) to draw out our thoughts. That would give us ideas about our values, goals.
We spend too little time thinking about what would make us happy and disproportionate amounts of time and effort chasing goals that perhaps don’t bring the satisfaction we seek. It’s like we are in hamster wheels and keep running without knowing where we are heading, when it will stop. The important question we should be asking is what makes us happy.
To answer that ultimate question, we could delve deeper with what constitutes a meaningful life? The good life? These definitely can be different things to different people. A trigger for this thought exercise was given. How do we compare the merits of a job that pays us more than our current one but will not make us feel as satisfied? If fulfilment is the ultimate goal of life, then why shouldn’t this be the currency that we use to make such important decisions? This paragraph from the book struck the chord. Fulfilling job, however, generally pays peanuts. It wouldn’t lead to financial security. Wouldn’t that in turn make life unfulfilling then?
On happiness and enjoyment. The book suggested several strategies.
Record at the end of each day what made us particularly happy and what had little effect, a “happy jar” of some sort. Those who regularly use expense tracker may use the app to jot down things you spent money on which made you happy and which ones faded quickly from memory. Give it a week, a month and then review. What stuff does really make you happy?
“They work long hard hours in a job they hate to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like”
This will give us some senses of on what to spend our hard earned money and will help us avoiding being one of those March was talking about.
On enjoyable experience without spending. The key is perhaps not to make lots of money to buy happiness because we usually suffer making money. The net result might be cancelling themselves out. The key may be to find enjoyable activities and experiences that need little or no money. If we can find happiness without spending, we then don’t have to brake our backs making money and hopefully spend those money on something that will make us happy.
One-minute exercise. Sit in front of a clock or a watch that you can use to time the passing of one minute. Your task is to focus your entire attention on your breathing, and nothing else, for every second of the minute.
Mindful eating. This involves sitting down at a table and eating a meal without engaging in any other activities—do not read a newspaper or book, watch TV, listen to the radio, or talk. Pay attention to each piece of food: how it looks, how it smells, how you cut the food, the muscles you use to raise your fork to your mouth, and the texture and taste of the food as you chew it, slowly. You will be amazed at how different food tastes when eaten in this way and how filling (and enjoyable) a meal can be.
Mindful walking. This is a variation on mindful eating. As you walk, concentrate on the feel of the ground under your feet, as well as your breathing. Observe the scene around you, staying in the moment. Let your other thoughts go: look at the sky, the view, the foliage; feel the wind, the temperature of your skin; enjoy the moment.
Another concept that I find very useful is “Flow”. True flow experiences typically occur when we are doing something for the sheer enjoyment of it. We become less aware of ourselves because we are so immersed in the activity. Dr. Csikszentmihalyi (TED talks) says the best moments in a person’s life “usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” I can attest to this as I have personally experienced it. When I prepare new and interesting lecture topics or writing deeply engaging articles, it’s very immersive and I usually lose sense of time. It’s a truly satisfying experience. Not only do we not have to pay for this enjoyable experience, we can make money out of it or achieve our goals too, if we can align the tasks with our works/responsibilities.
After we try to find and do things we enjoy, perhaps the next is to do things other enjoy. Do something for others can, in itself, bring us joy as well. The ultimate prize in our lives is probably to move from a life that is successful for us, to a life that is also meaningful to others.
Writing a note thanking people to whom we owe a debt of gratitude. It is a thoughtful examination of the meaning and pleasure that one derives from the relationship; it describes particular experiences and shared dreams and whatever else in that relationship that is a source of joy. Writing takes time and effort, but doing so gives us time to pause and reflect. This exercise is good for both ourselves and important people in our lives.
On buying stuff.
When thinking of buying something. It might be a good idea to apply the concept of hedonic opportunity cost. Essentially, it’s about asking ourselves what else this money could buy that would make us probably happier. Then decide if we should spend the money.
On time.
Kasser’s research shows that time affluence is a consistent predictor of well-being, whereas material affluence is not. Time affluence means feeling that there is time to pursue activities that are personally meaningful, to reflect, to relax, and to educate oneself. Get out of that ‘hamster wheels’ or at least get out of it from time to time to smell the roses.
The last issue the book was looking into was about educating the young. The book suggested that they should find out what they are passionate about, what they are good at and how they can make sufficient money out of it. Find that intersection and they may find the fulfilling and satisfying life. This concept is similar to the Japanese’s “Ikigai”.
